Freespace - Dealing with an ageing nation

DURING my mother's recent monthly outing, we found ourselves in a lift with a young family. The daughter, about five years old, looked at my mother and crooned, "So old!" I was appalled. The girl's mother tittered. I glared at the girl and responded, "So rude!" The girl promptly hid behind her father, who soothingly repeated, "Yes, so rude," as he stroked her hair lovingly. As I pushed my mother in her wheelchair out of the lift, I noticed my mother discreetly wiping a tear.
After I got over my indignation, and ensuring my mother wasn't too upset (she wasn't, as she suffers from dementia and has an extremely short memory), I reflected on what it was about the aged that made them somewhat of society's outcasts. Why had these parents not taught their children to have a little more respect?
According to a 2014 news report, at least 10 elderly Malaysians end up in homes for the aged each week and that is just the official average based on centres registered with the Social Welfare Department. There are nine such registered centres nationwide. That is not enough. On every street near my childhood home there is now a private home for the elderly.
And this is just it. Is it necessary to shove our elderly into homes for the aged when they are above 60? According to a Statistics Department survey in 2011, there are 1.1 million men and 1.2 million women aged above 60 nationwide. Sadly, 30% (675,000) from this figure are estimated to have been abandoned, making it nearly one in three senior citizens who are neglected.
I admit that there are times when we cannot look after our parents. Some need 24-hour care. Some require more time and attention than we have. But do we need to abandon them?
I think this is a reflection of our fear of mortality. Old people remind us of our mortality. In the fitness industry, if you were to say, "This will help you get stronger and healthier," you will usually get bored looks. Alternatively, say that something is "anti-ageing", eyes will widen, questions will pour in, and everyone will gamely do what you prescribe.
Ageing parents remind us that the cycle of life is nearing its transition point for loved ones, and eventually us. Better to leave them where we can't see them than be reminded daily that we too are ageing and going to die.
The funny thing is that our daily life is not like this. We want everything instantly. We want a good job now. We want a girlfriend now. We want that new car or that new dress now. We want a raise now. We want to lose weight now. We want everything this very instant. And yet when we are born, we never want death immediately, do we?
Maybe it is time for us to stop looking at life as episodes of instant gratification. If we look at life as a journey, we might recognise that seniors are on the same journey as we are, and that they have forged ahead of us. Maybe then we can treat them, and teach our young to treat them, with compassion.
Daniel freelances in writing and fitness training. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com