Talking about midlife crisis

WHILE many women dream of entering their midlife gracefully, some will soon discover that it’s not so easy.
With statistics pointing to an average expected lifespan of 77 years for the Malaysian woman, this means that she reaches the mid-point of her life at around age 38.
As she enters into this crucial stage of her life, which is also known as perimenopause, she is often faced with the prospect of hormonal changes as well as a bigger pile of responsibilities.
At this stage, they’re known to be part of the ‘sandwich generation’ – whereby they’re stuck between duties of care to the young on one hand, and the old on the other.
At the same time, they are also at the stage of their lives where they are required to manage their household and perform well at their workplace.
These responsibilities, although not out of the ordinary, add to the stress level among many women the world over.
Contrary to popular belief, hormones don’t only go through changes during menopause but throughout the different stages of our lives as we age.
But when hormonal changes occur and are compounded by the stresses of daily life, the hormones can easily go haywire, making it harder for women to keep everything under control when juggling many different tasks.
When a person goes into a stressful situation, the body will react to defend itself through the ‘amygdala hijack’ mode. This is when the brain defaults to survival instincts according to the laws of fight, flight or freeze.
Some examples of common stresses that trigger such a response include frustration with spouse, resentment towards an in-law, confronting a rude teenager, rumours of a backstabbing colleague, and aggressive calls or emails.
As a result, many have suffered from such typical symptoms as depression, fatigue, anxiety, hair loss, facial hair growth, low libido, thyroid disorders, urinary tract infections, weight gain or the inability to lose weight, bloating, irregular periods and more – which affect their emotional and physical state.
Nuvafemme, by Nuvanta Malaysia, recently invited clinical hypnotherapist Thanam Selva, professional conversational intelligence coach Cindy Duong-Ooi, and pharmacist Datin Swanee Teh to discuss this common yet problematic issue in a dialogue session themed, A Midlife Balancing Act.
The session was moderated by Ashley Grandisch, a certified professional coach and yoga instructor.
The panel of experts shared tips on how to soften the blows that come with midlife.
They suggested three areas in which women can focus on – thoughts, relationship and hormones – so that they can continue to be in charge of their situations.
From a clinical hypnotherapist’s viewpoint, Thanam said the first step a woman needs to take to establish a healthy relationship with others is to begin with herself.
But managing our own emotional state requires that we manage our own thoughts on a subconscious level.
Thinking positive thoughts cannot change our lives per se as the subconscious mind operates like a tape recorder that records and replays continuously.
Imagine how destructive it can get when the subconscious is filled with negativity?
Thanam suggests hypnotherapy as it is able to harness the power of suggestion to help develop a calmer state of mind, dampening the likelihood of an amygdala hijack.
“It’s common for women to ruminate on their problems - priming their minds to see things in a negative light,” said Thanam.
“Hypnotherapy has been used effectively to help modify those negative thoughts of the subconscious, transforming outlooks from bleak to uplifting.”
Delving deeper into the subject of quality relationships, Duong-Ooi explained that it largely relies on the quality of the conversation shared between both parties.
She encourages women in their midlife to notice the conversations they have with themselves and realise how it could impact things.
“Words activate neurochemistry and words that include, appreciate, and celebrate cause the brain to release chemicals like oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine that stimulate feelings of calm and connection with others,” she added.
“If we are able to approach our conversations with mindfulness, we hold the power to speak appreciation, inclusion, empathy and hope, even during times of adversity.”
Lastly, Teh touched on the topic of hormonal changes. These changes are inevitable, but she related that it can be controlled with natural hormone regulation such as Nuvafemme, an activated soy isoflavone compound.
Containing organic genistein, which is a natural remedy for restoring hormonal health and wellness in women, Nuvafemme has three main properties – phytoestrogen for a natural hormonal balance; antioxidants for cell protection, beauty and anti-stress; and metabolic-regulation complex to inhibit fat formation and regulate bone-building activities.
Teh, who is also the business unit manager of the Nuvaceuticals and Medical Division of Nuvanta Malaysia, added: “Far too many women go through their midlife without understanding why they are feeling and reacting the way they do to the people around them.
“It’s during this period of their lives that women feel alone and vulnerable.
“Nuvafemme is committed to equipping and empowering women entering midlife with knowledge about their health and their changing minds and bodies.
“Our message is for women to be kinder to themselves and to embrace their femininity.”