FROM being a target of school bullies to becoming a successful entrepreneur, and even a beauty contest participant, Elena Tong (pix) has come a long way.
She attributes them all to self-confidence. According to her, confidence is vital in the pursuit of one’s ambition – from success as an entrepreneur to standing up for oneself.
Tong’s childhood can best be described as one of years of torture, and it was all because of her physique.
“Because I was a little plump while growing up, I was often ridiculed by friends and even family members,” she said in a recent interview with theSun.
“I have been called fatty, chubby, disgusting, pregnant and humpty-dumpty. Those who were more subtle referred me as ‘teddy bear’,” she said.
“It made me feel worthless, imperfect and I hated myself so much. There were times when I even wondered if the world would be a better place without me since the people who judged me often made me feel that I did not deserve to be loved,” she added.
Tong, who was born and raised in Subang Jaya recounted that she had a happy childhood until she turned 11.
As a result of hormonal changes, she began to put on the pounds but it did not bother her initially. “I took part in sports and joined the gymrama (combination of gymnastics and dance) class because I loved to dance.” But the tight and skimpy costume left her vulnerable to being teased. “It was also at that time when a friend tried to molest me.”
Tong said she managed to escape the ordeal but that left a negative mark on her. “I suppressed my emotions and as a result I don’t remember much of my life until I turned 22.”
The bullying and more brushes with sexual attacks left her emotionally fatigued. “I was in shock and I started to blame myself.”
Tong ended up being depressed for a year. During that period, she spent a lot of time on Facebook looking at how others like her coped. Eventually, she realised that if she was going to make it, she had to take things into her own hands.
“I realised that I couldn’t change what people say or think but I could change myself, so as not to succumb to their high expectations of beauty, but to embrace and be confident of the Elena that I am,” she said.
“I understood that I shouldn’t allow others to define or validate my self-worth, and that changed my life. I began to love myself, accept who I am and embrace my true self,” she said.
At the urging of friends, she started her journey of recovery by baking cookies for the family. She became an advocate against body shaming.
“As far as I am concerned, body shaming is a mix of toxic words, actions, reactions and thoughts that others dump on us,” she said.
Tong’s life now revolves around giving talks on creating new businesses for youths. She also offers her insights and feedback to
non-governmental organisations (NGO) on the impact of their corporate social responsibility programmes.
She has also written and self-published poetry with like-minded friends in the form of a chapbook called Life, Love and Passion. Proceeds from the sale of the chapbook are being channelled to Yayasan Chow Kit and Al-Hasan Volunteer Network.
Both are NGO that offer to protect the rights of children at risk, and provide them with education to enable them to lead productive lives.
In addition, she has created her own food business, and has been shortlisted as one of 12 participants for the title of Miss Plus World Malaysia 2021.
Tong said her journey has taught her to be resilient.
“Self-empowerment is about taking small steps, working towards my own dreams, aspirations and mission. When life tries to take me down, I find the courage to rise with self-love, acceptance and hope.”
