PETALING JAYA: The birth of a child is a time to rejoice. However, for some parents and children, it might be the beginning of a nightmare.
For parents and children alike, discovering years later that they are not biologically related will be shocking and heart-wrenching.
It will take time for both sides to come to grips with the revelation, Universiti Pendidikan Sultan Idris counsellor Dr Fauziah Mohd Sa’ad told theSun.
In situations like this, affected parents play a vital role to ensure that rational thinking prevails, the counselling psychologist added.
Earlier this week, a pair of twins from Kota Baru spoke about the challenges they faced on discovering that they had been separated at birth through the negligence of the hospital where they were born 19 years ago.
The parents who took one of the twins home brought her up along with her purported “twin”. The “twin sisters” thought that they were just non-identical.
Since then, others who had similar experiences have also stepped forward to tell their stories.
Among them is a couple, who lodged a police report on discovering that the baby boy they took home was not actually theirs.
Fauziah pointed out that the impact of such a discovery could be devastating, especially to the child.
“It affects the child through no fault of his. Both parents and child could be traumatised.
“This is when the parents should pull themselves together to protect the child,” she said. “To ease the child’s emotional pain, the parents will have to think positive, although the child is not theirs biologically.
“They should continue to give the child the same love and care they have always given him or her.”
Fauziah said if the parents are unable to handle their emotions, their mental well-being could degenerate, and trigger underlying illnesses.
The first step towards healing is to accept that the switch had happened and cannot be undone, she said. “Make peace with yourself and think positive for the sake of the child.”
Rather than descend into negativity, the parents could rejoice that their child would now have two sets of parents, Fauziah added.
A child who discovers that he has been switched at birth or adopted without his knowledge is most vulnerable, especially if still young.
Fauziah recounted a case of a boy who turned rebellious upon knowing that he had been adopted.
“The parents loved the child so much that they were afraid to reveal the truth to him,” she said, adding that the child took the family car for a drive without his parents’ permission, only to end up in an accident.
Relate Mental Health Malaysia founder and clinical psychologist Dr Chua Sook Ning said it is unfortunate that there is little research on this issue. “Counselling to support both families could be helpful.”
