CLUSTER munitions are banned in more than 100 countries. They are bombs that open in the air and release scores of smaller bomblets that can kill indiscri-minately over a wide area. Those that fail to explode can pose a danger for decades.
US National Security Adviser Jake Sullivan told a daily White House briefing that officials “recognise that the cluster munitions from unexploded bombs create a risk of civilian harm”. But he said Ukraine was running out of artillery and needed “a bridge of supplies. We will not leave Ukraine defenceless at any point in this conflict period”.
President Vladimir Putin said Russia had a “sufficient stockpile” of cluster bombs and reserved the right to use them if such munitions, the use of which he said he regarded as a crime, were deployed against Russian forces.
Below is a parody of a phone conversation between US Secretary of State Antony Blinken and US President Joe Biden.
June 20, 11am Washington time
Blinken: Hello, Boss. Updating you on my Beijing trip. First of all. Great speech to our donors. Haha. Spot on calling Xi (China President Xi Jinping) a dictator and all that. Wonderful off the cuff and right on target. I like the way you handled the balloon incident. This should shut up the Republicans. We could have taken a bigger hit from it but to turn it into something that Xi was not aware of is absolutely brilliant. One for the history books.
Biden: Good to hear, Blinky. Thanks. Yes, I see my speech was headline news all over the world, CNN, BBC. The media thought I was blowing my trumpet when I said that I was better than Kissinger (former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger). Now they know me as the real chump, sorry, I mean, champ in foreign affairs. They don’t call me “Amtrak Joe” for nothing.
(Writer: I am going to say something outrageous. I think I know as much about American foreign policy as anybody living, including Dr Kissinger.)
Blinken: We make a great pair, Boss. Boy, did I fool the two Chinese with my charm and got them to avoid saying any nasty things about us. I also wrangled a meeting with Xi. Very difficult and last minute. China media are saying “quite unprecedented” and a “big honour” for a state secretary. What a picture of our meeting at the Great Hall. You must have seen it too. The photo is sitting in our main reception in the house. Evan (Ryan) absolutely loves it, so also the children.
Biden: Good. Remind me when I meet Xi next that he sits at the head of the table with me on the right side. Maybe, include Jill (Biden) in the photo too. And before I forget, Karine (Jean-Pierre, White House Press Secretary) needs to bring up the dictator bit on Xi and China every now and then when (Donald) Trump or Rinos (Republican party) say I am too soft. Also, remind me to give her my promise of a reward soon – a bigger job. She is a good (woman) and our coloured friends and the LGBTs (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) will see how I take good care of them. They will love to see me doing more for the coloured – this should bring in a helluva lot more votes.
Blinken: By the way, Boss, your mention of (Narendra) Modi and the QUAD was brilliant too – an off-the-park home run. This will tie Modi and India to us even more. Indian media is headlining his visit and your appearances together. They cannot wait for it to take place.
Biden: I know. You know, Kamala (Harris, US vice president) has been disappointing. You tell her that I would love a Bollywood song and dance on how Modi and I are fighting the panda and breaking down the China wall. Include me doing an Irish jig. Tell her to put in some money as soon as possible so this can appear on the screen quickly. Hunter (Biden) would love this assignment. He is the best in this kinda business. But he is my son and Fox and other s** will never let him get away with it. B*****ds
Blinken: Sorry to drop this on you now, Boss, but to let you know I have been able to make up for you missing meeting the Islanders in Papua New Guinea. We have promised to bring them over for a meeting in (Washington) DC. First class ticket for them and family will make sure every one of the island leaders will want to be with you. Did you see that I got the Papuans to give our military unimpeded access to their bases, so as to squeeze the Chinese even more? It was actually done quite cheaply. Bought them some new uniforms and PPEs (Personal Protective Equipment). Must say, some cargo and flattery make a big difference – an easy lot to get on our side.
Biden: Well done, Blinky. Remind me to call (James) Marape (prime minister of Papua New Guinea). I will let him know how we together will make a big difference to the Indo-Pacific. Also, must mention that Modi and Albo (Anthony Albanese, prime minister of Australia) are doing their bit. We must bring Fumio (Kishida) and Japan in the picture more, Blinky.
Blinken: Agreed boss. My staff tell me that Albo is pissed off that I telephoned Japan and South Korean counterparts before my Beijing trip but not them.
Biden: Mistake, Blinky. You know how hard I worked to get the Aussies to buy our subs (submarines). I tell you, this was a real challenge. I was lucky we had Scott (Morrison) on our side. Amazing job he did. We must see how we can help him now he has done his bit.
Blinken: Yup. Remember Trump already gave him our Merit of Honour but I think he is looking forward to something he can put into his pocket rather than wear on his chest.
Biden: Okay. That should be easy to set up.
Blinken: Thanks, Boss. Also, the papers are digging up that Evan and I were working with Hunter on behalf of Burisma (Holdings). I have sent him a copy of my sworn and other statements. Please see that he denies any association I may have.
Biden: Will do, Blinky. Quick final. Tell Zed (Volodymyr Zelenskyy, president of Ukraine) and his boys not to say that they are making slow progress. Hell, after all the equipment and money I have given for them to win, this is a dumb thing to put out. Makes us look bad and really, there is no need to bring in “Hollywood” in his statement. They have to keep saying that they are winning.
Blinken: Okay, Boss. But my staff are telling me that they will need more of our heavy stuff as well as money. Putin is not the pushover we have been making him out to be. Maybe, we should provide Zed with cluster bombs. Not popular with the media but should give Putin a bloody nose.
Biden: Good idea. Pass the word around, but do it quick.
Note: This conversation apparently is from a recently hacked recording and disseminated by an unknown but suspected Russian group.
Lim Teck Ghee’s Another Take is aimed at demystifying social orthodoxy. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
