MANY years ago, I was on my evening walk in my neighbourhood. This was before gated communities started and “outsiders” were free to enter and leave residential areas without any restrictions.
As I was walking, I had a rude shock when I felt someone grabbing my buttock from behind.
While coming to terms with what had just happened, I saw a motorcyclist and a pillion riding away in the opposite direction. To add salt to my wound, the pillion waved his hand without turning his head, a gesture I felt, challenging my incapacity. There was an instant rage that consumed me and in that state of mind I went home, picked up a large stick and was on the road again looking for the perpetrator.
My son, who was about 15 at that time, was overcome with fear seeing me wondering in the neighbourhood with a stick in my hand and ready to strike. Of course, I did not find the culprits. I finally went home, quite helpless and feeling completely violated.
For days after the incident, I was angry with the powerlessness I was faced with. This incident came to mind when I read, yet again, news of girls and boys undergoing sexual abuses of various kinds in the very place they are supposed to feel safe and respected.
I remember in the recent past, the issue of period shaming coming up in the media and there was a lot of hot air about it and then it died, too soon. Now that it has resurfaced, I am shocked that the act has been more prevalent than we cared to know.
The fact that adults are opening up to share their experiences of having been spot-checked and groped in residential schools and other educational institutions is evidence that we have not grown out of our archaic misdemeanours.
Seriously, should religious teachers be given such high-handed authority in going against privacy, personal liberty and freedom? Some organisations have come out hard condemning such “meanness” meted out to girls but where will this go?
There is a loud call today for the government and related agencies to stop this dastardly practice once and for all but the authorities have not given any undertaking for action.
Speaking in retrospect, I am surprised the students, who are now adults, did not know it was not normal and condoned the wrongdoing when they were exposed. What is worse, even now the students are voiceless and lack avenues to share their grouses on matters like this, which is considered a taboo topic to be discussed openly.
In a larger context, period shaming is not uncommon and in Asian cultures it is used as a weapon to degrade and downgrade women and girls. I have personally encountered references being made by people in C-levels referring to periods by way of indirect association when things do not go the right way.
It is used on men too when they lack focus, are grumpy or moody, with a negative connotation perpetually attached to periods. Negative attitudes towards periods and menstruation and the resultant period shaming can be harmful to young people, leading to body-image issues, anxiety, depression, and self-hate.
These ancient, misogynistic ideas about periods and menstruation need to stop and it is up to parents and guardians to take the helm and open the discussion at home.
Most of us would remember stories from our grandparents about how long ago the menstrual period was routinely referred to as the curse, giving the unique physiological function of a woman’s body an unwanted and negative connotation.
Some cultures imposed extreme taboos on girls and women in the olden days which is difficult to justify any which way.
However, we as a community are slowly but surely breaking the taboo around this “bloody” issue in most situations but for those amongst us who suffer from mental and emotional turmoil during periods, it may still feel like a curse.
There is a new wave of movement that calls for boys to be educated from a young age about why and how girls are different, only physiologically and that they should be treated as equals, otherwise. Having said that, the period shaming incidents in schools are being committed by women, so how do we counter this.
Should such women be retrained and re-educated or is it a matter of complete and blind submission to eccentricities, in which case, it will take regulated laws and enforcement to eradicate such wrongful practices.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
